Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Randomize
