I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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