do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
