I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
