There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
