oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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