I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
