So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
