I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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