how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
