ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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