Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
