I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
