i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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