she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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