Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
