there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
