Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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