Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
