Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
