u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
