He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
