is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
