new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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