If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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