Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
