Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
