The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
