those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
