Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
she told me i tasted like america
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
