tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
