Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Randomize
