i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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