sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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