We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
