Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
