You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
