She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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