Well apparently he's into motor boating.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
