Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
