maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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