his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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