So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
MIDGETS
????
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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