"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
