but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
