kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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