After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
