There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
