Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize