This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
