I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
