i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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